


"What the fuck is a Tarsier?!"

by zkxxdlin



Series: The Devil Wears Pullovers [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Bickering, Demon to Mortal AU, Demon!Baekhyun, Demon!Chanyeol, Demons Adapting To Mortal Life Shenanigans, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Grim Reaper!Jongin, Human!Sehun, Humor, Humour, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 05:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16341035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zkxxdlin/pseuds/zkxxdlin
Summary: “... What the fuck did you just call me?”A scoff, “... a Tarsier? Do you not know what that is?”A roll of eyes, “... This, my friend, is what a Tarsier is,” he continued, the cockiness saturating each and every single syllable spilling from his lips, “are you sure you haven’t seen it in, I don’t know, say a family gatheri—”………“... Chanyeol,” Jongin sighed, thoroughly, and utterly exhausted, “... this is why we don’t go around punching other people—”





	"What the fuck is a Tarsier?!"

The sound of muffled bickering echoed about behind the him, the incessant hisses, gasps, snorts, and pure, outright _threats_ beating _heavily_ against his ear drums, ~~tickling~~ _irritating_ his ears as the group walked down the corridor.

“—anyeol, get out of my fucking _way!”_

“No, _you_ get out of my way, you fucking twinky slob—”

“I’m _not_ a fucking _twink,_ you fucking white boy redneck jockstrap—”

“At least I’ve got the junk for a jockstrap—”

“Park Chanyeol if you’re insinuating what I _think_ you’re insinuating I swear to _Master_ that you won’t see the light of day tomorrow—”

_“Try me, shortstuff—”_

… Jongin had had _enough._

“Will the _both of you shut up?!”_

…

…

…

 _“He_ started it!”

“Yell at _him,_ not me!”

The Reaper only rolled his eyes, a frustrated sigh leaving his lips as soon as the two Demons’ words processed. Honestly, how _childish_ and _immature_ could the two of them get? They were older than him, for fuck’s sake!

“I don’t _care_ who started it,” Jongin hissed, mindful of his volume seeing as how they were _still_ in the middle of the corridor (unlike the _other two)._ Shifting his eyes about, Jongin surveyed the hallway once more, wanting to make sure that they were the only ones present. Once he deemed it safe _enough_ (considering how the other tenants were probably in their rooms, asleep, ~~because it’s literally three in the morning~~ ), Jongin turned flickered his gaze back to the two Demons

Chanyeol and Baekhyun were both silent, eyes bright in the dim hallway lighting as they simply glanced back at him. There _were_ traces of petulance, what was probably a result of having been reprimanded by _Kim Jongin,_ of all people (the Reaper was _younger_ than them, yet he was scolding them? How embarrassing). However, other than the few faint hints of that, their gazes were mainly just blank.

Almost as if they were just _waiting_ for Jongin to get his lecturing (which will probably land on deaf ears) over and done with, before they start back on their bickering.

Sighing, knowing that his efforts would render themselves futile, Jongin just pinched the bridge of his nose as he shut his eyes, lips pulling back into a thin, pursed line as he pondered over _whose_ soul he had unlawfully taken in his past life to be subjected to _this_ torture.

Torture being the babysitter of two _imbeciles_ of Demonic _children._

“... Are you done Jongin I have to get back to bashing this mutant alien giraffe into a pulp—”

“Hmph,” Chanyeol huffed, arms proceeding to cross over his chest as he leaned his weight on one leg, hip cocking out as he raised an amused eyebrow at Baekhyun. “... Like you could even do that when you can’t even see past my chin—”

“We’ll see about that, huh?” Baekhyun taunted, underlying hints of anger laced in his angry tone, hand curling into a fist as he aimed for Chanyeol’s jaw. Unfortunately (very, _very_ unfortunately), Chanyeol had seen Baekhyun’s arm moving, rising up from its perch right beside his torso, and had reacted quick enough to dodge the fist.

That was _all_ it took.

Immediately, and Jongin means it when he says _immediately,_ arms started rising, hands started curling, and fists started throwing, the two Demons _instantly_ dissolving into yet another one of their bitter, petty cat fights. The fight would have probably grown, maybe even _exploded,_ if only the two weren’t trying to show off their (un)impressive wide punches and long kicks right in the middle of the tiny hallway. However, seeing as how they were trying to MMA-fight in a space big enough for literally only _one and a half persons,_ their fight was nothing above weak slaps and pathetic backhanded smacks.

It was comical, really.

 _“Ow!_ That _hurt,_ you dumbass!”

“That’s what you get for trying to underestimate me, Yod— _Fuck!_ _Dude,_ that’s _Gucci!_ You don’t fucking _touch_ Gucci jackets!”

“Then _you_ stop touching me with your girly hands, shortcake— _Shit!_ Don’t fucking _slap m—”_

“For the love of all things bad will you two _quit it?!”_ Jongin yelled, eyed widened under furrowed, angry brows as glared at the bickering pair, utterly outraged at how the two of them seemingly could _never_ stop fighting even for _one_ _single second_ whenever they were around the other. Moreover, the fact that they had basically just _ignored_ Jongin, having been waiting for him to finish up with his _episode,_ that had been the tipping point.

~~His _pride_ was _hurt,_ damn it! ~~

“Just _shut up_ for a few seconds, at least until we get to the apartment!” Jongin continued on, raving as he hissed the words through his teeth, mindful of the noise that he should _n’t_ make. “You two have been banished to this land for pulling your utterly _stupid,_ dumbass _moronic_ stunts, the _exact_ same shit you’re pulling right now! Don’t you remember that?!”

At that, Jongin paused, taking in a much needed breath as his blazed eyes flickered between the two of them. Both Demons had their lips _(thankfully)_ shut, the loudmouths keeping silent for the first time during their entire journey to Earth, but what satisfied Jongin (and also mended his pride) was how the _remorse_ had started to creep into their eyes as they gazed back to his own.

… _Finally._

“... and now you’re _still_ causing a ruckus right here on Earth, at _three in the morning,_ when literally _every human_ is asleep! Do you want them to wake up and see you?! Tell me, _do you?!”_

… Silence…

… before a meek shake of two heads and a mumbled, “... no.”

 _“Exactly!”_ Jongin breathed, a hint of relief lacing itself in its tone at the realisation that the two Demons were finally, _finally_ listening. Huffing out a sigh, Jongin’s eyes fluttered shut as he took in a much needed, deep breath, letting the cool, and (okay, yeah, this is actually impossible but whatever) _quiet_ _air_ fill his lungs, ballooning them.

“... Alright, so just remain quiet,” Jongin whispered, swivelling back around as he proceeded to step towards the right apartment door, “we’re reaching the apartment so—”

“... What’s with all that noise…?”

The sound of wood creaking against metal hinges rang about in the empty corridor, never having sounded _so deafening_ before, and had the three men _instantly_ halting in their tracks.

The two Demons and lone ~~babysitter~~ Grim Reaper immediately felt their breath hitch, the air lodging itself in their throats as their limbs froze, _stilling._ The only thing that was moving (or, the only sign that they were actually still alive and not some sad excuse of a Madame Tussauds’ reject) were their eyes, their pupils honestly _shaking_ amidst the pure white of their clera.

With their gazes focused on _nothing_ but the opened door, the trio could only watch as the shadow of something, or rather, some _one,_ began spilling from the darkness of the apartment.

The shadow was only growing, a large, faintly quadrilateral blob bleeding out onto the (fake, it’s just pasted on) wooden hallway, and it was only when the sight of two little thinner lengths sprouting out from the bottom two corners came into view did the trio react.

Baekhyun instantly let out a whimper, hands unconsciously curling into little fists into the fabric of Chanyeol, and I’m not even kidding you, but _Park Chanyeol’s_ sleeve fabric (!!!!!). Taking a small step back, Baekhyun unknowingly stepped behind Chanyeol, making use of his larger frame to shield himself from the figure approaching from the room.

… and get this, get this, but Chanyeol (!!! _Park Chanyeol,_ the _man himself!!!!!)_ had unconsciously _(unconsciously)_ stepped his foot out sideways, in front of Baekhyun, his frame slightly, ever so _slightly,_ placing itself in front of the other Demon, almost as if, _almost_ as if…

_… he was shielding Baekhyun._

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

“... Keep it down, would y—”

_“AHHHHHHHHHHHH—”_

_“SHUT UP!”_

…

…

…

“... What the fuck is going on here.”

At the mumbled question, Jongin immediately swiveled his head around, the ruffle of his own blazer jacket ringing substantially loudly as his gaze broke away from the shell-shocked ones of the Demons (whom he had turned around to face and seal the mouths of (with his hands) as soon as they had started screaming).

“Oh, uh,” his own widened eyes and gaping mouth instantly melted away into tightly scrunched, little crescent shaped eyes and a wide, sheepish grin, “Nothing! Absolutely nothing’s going on here!”

However, all Jongin’s _persuasive_ (at least, to _him)_ explanation got was a single raised brow and an unamused purse of lips. The… _man,_ who was pretty tall himself, with wide shoulders and pretty fair skin, had only folded his arms across his chest as he let his frame drop and lean against the doorframe, unblinking gaze fixated on Jongin, very, _very clearly_ unamused.

It wasn’t long before the man’s eyes flickered over to where the Reaper’s hands were; his gaze trailing along Jongin’s stretched arms before landing, even widening _just_ a tad, on the hands.

… which were very much _still_ slapped onto the two Demons’ lower halves of their faces.

Quickly realising _exactly_ the type of predicament they were _all_ in, Jongin instantly yanked back his hands, arms folding along his sides as a sheepish laugh escaped his lips, hurriedly swivelling about his heels with his eyes twinkling (at least, forcing and _hoping_ that they were twinkling) with (again, what he was _hoping_ was) childish, innocent guilt.

“... Ah,” Jongin started, voice nothing more than a mumble as his eyes swiveled about the corridor, making contact with anything else _but_ the still very, _very_ awake human ( _human!!!! A legit human being!!!!),_ and also a very, _very_ unamused human. “... We’re just, y’know, moving in…?”

“... At three in the morning…?”

“... Uh,” Jongin stammered, “... Y—”

“Why yes,” came a voice, firm and resolute in its tone, prompting Sehun’s unamused, borderline _annoyed_ gaze to flicker over to its owner. “You got a problem with that?”

Chanyeol had matched gazes with the man _straight on,_ his own eyes, widened in the slight annoyance (mirrored by the stranger), and purposefully widening them even _more,_ in a desperate attempt at trying to instill some semblance of fear in the unknown human.

Chanyeol, if he still had his powers, would have not given a shit (in his irritated state) about the fact that he was actually on _Earth_ and hence would have been in the presence of (weak-ass unimpressionable insignificant) humans and _hence,_ would have resorted to using his flames and wings and all that Demonic jazz to scare the fuck out of the bratty little fuck standing so cockily in front of him.

(… But as it turns out, Junmyeon had _had_ to be an ass and take his powers away.

 ~~… What a doucheface.~~ )

… Which was why only thing he had going for him was making his already wide eyes _even wider,_ and just hope (even pray, maybe, ~~as disgusting as that sounded~~ ) that it worked.

…

…

…

… Surprisingly enough, it actually _did._

“Dude,” the man called out, his eyebrows relaxing from their furrowed, annoyed state and instead choosing to shoot up into his hairline, eyes losing their unamused, unimpressed state to one that was tinted with a slight hint of fear (cheers to Chanyeol’s barely patched up pride). “Calm down, _Tarsier.”_

“... What the fuck did you just call me?”

A scoff, “... a Tarsier? Do you not know what that is?”

Chanyeol, wanting to save his pride because he cuh- _learly_ doesn’t know what the fuck a Tarsier or whatever the fuck that is _is,_ simply squinted his eyes, lips pulling up into a ~~bratty~~ _petulant_ little pout, his plump bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly as his nose scrunched up in annoyance.

“Look here, _Snow White,_ stop fucking _acting_ like some smartass _know-it-all—”_

“—Wait, do you _not_ know what a Tarsier is…?’

Chanyeol immediately spluttered, lips fiddling about on his face as his eyebrows shot up his forehead, channeling the disbelief he was experiencing at the utter _r00dness_ that this unknown baby Casper was showing him (never mind the fact that he was actually right and that Chanyeol actually _didn’t_ know what the fuck a Tarsier was). He had quickly brought his curled fist up, arm swinging back in an attempt to knock some teeth out of that annoyingly smug and disgustingly pretty boy face—

“Oh my fucking _Master, Park Chanyeol!”_

Chanyeol instantly grinded his teeth, eyes clenching shut as his teeth bared themselves in a snarl, lips curling up as the deep, gritty rumble tumbled out of his throat, slipping through his teeth. _“What the fuck did I do this time, Jongin?!”_

Jongin’s arm had instantly shot out from where it was perched along his side, hands gripping around Chanyeol’s tensed, _flexed_ arm, the muscles straining against the fabric of his jacket sleeves (thankfully, Junmyeon was not a doucheface-y enough to have taken away his muscles, t ~~he same muscles that Chanyeol himself places literally 99.99% of his pride in~~ ). Groaning, Jongin vehemently hissed out a low, but ever so exasperated, “Can’t you fucking _see_ what “wrong” it is that you’re doing, you _dumb animal?!”_

“Obviously _not,_ Captain Morality, and who do you think you’re scolding here?! I’m your _hyung,_ you insolent _twat—”_

“Junmyeon _gave_ me the right to scold you, you childish overgrown _Tarsier parasite—”_

_“What the fuck is a Tarsier?!”_

…

…

…

“... Damn,” the stranger breathed, a light tilt of amusement laced in his tone, a smirk lifting up the corners of his lips slightly, _ever so sliiiiiiightly,_ “you _really_ don’t know what a Tarsier is, huh…”

“... That’s pretty unfortunate,” the man continued on, pulling out a small, rectangular device from his pocket, and the sudden, abrupt manner in which it _glew_ so brightly in the middle of the dim hallway instantly had the Demons and Reaper absolutely _fascinated,_ their anger and frustration momentarily displaced by curiosity, thoroughly _enchanted._ “Considering how you should probably be close relatives.”

The man made a few, quick little taps against the device, the colours on the screen rapidly shifting, the display morphing, moving about so quickly that the trio could only watch, transfixed.

It wasn’t long before the screen had settled on a bunch of different little rectangles, the shapes mainly filled with greens and browns, and it was only till the man had clicked on a particular rectangle, flipped the device around and _presented_ to the trio exactly _what_ was on the device, did the spell of enchantment finally break.

“... _[This](https://www.google.com.sg/search?q=tarsier&rlz=1C1CHBF_enSG746SG747&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwifrI29s5HeAhWBbisKHVaZDXAQ_AUIDigB&biw=1707&bih=838&dpr=1.13#imgrc=AVZ-Pwom9xGDXM:), _ my friend, is what a Tarsier is,” he continued, the cockiness saturating each and every single syllable spilling from his lips, “are you sure you haven’t seen it in, I don’t know, say a family gatheri—”

…

…

…

“... Chanyeol,” Jongin sighed, thoroughly, and _utterly_ exasperated, “... _this_ is why we don’t go around punching other people—”

_“But he—”_

“But he _nothing,_ Yeol!” Jongin yelled, fingers running through his matted locks, tensed, _“that guy_ you just gave a black eye too is our _room mate!_ _Oh Sehun!_ And guess what, genius?! _He’s_ the only one who’s got the keys to the damn apartment—”

“Wait, didn’t _Junmyeon_ give you the keys?”

“That stingy old hag didn’t want to waste quote unquote _‘precious resources’—”_

“What the fuck?! So we _can’t_ get in?!”

 _“Yes,_ you fucking _moronic yogurt smoothie!_ We’re stuck out here in the hallway until _he_ decides it’s time for us to go in, and that time is _definitely_ not any time soon considering how you literally _just punched him—”_

“He was _asking_ for it, Jongin!”

“I don’t _care_ whether he was asking for it or not, oh my _Master,_ you punched him and now we’re in this predicament because of it!”

“...”

“... Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?!”

“... I’m sorry for calling Baekhyun a ‘Proboscis Monkey’,” a pause, “... cuh- _learly_ someone _else_ fits that description _perfectly—”_

 _“Oh my fucking Master—”_  


**Author's Note:**

> Yeaaaaaaah, Sehun's their little bratty room mate. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this! I hope it's also a lot easier to understand / not as confusing as the first part to this series, and I hope that it managed to make you laugh at the very least! If you did enjoy this, please do leave a Kudos or a comment down below, and I also do greatly appreciate constructive criticism! I'll do my best to improve as much as I can, in all aspects of my writing possible. 
> 
> I also do tweetfics and prompts and all that other jazz, so do hmu on my twitter @zkxxdlin! Yell to me and @ me about ChanBaek and we'll immediately be friends! <3


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